New Years ResoluShame: Getting Real About Your Resolutions

In my house, we have a running joke about the Peaks Island Sweat Pants. Almost nine years ago my sister got married on Peaks Island in Maine. It was late June, so I packed pretty much Lilly Pulitzer dresses and bathing suits. When we got there it was freezing, so I purchased a pair of harmless wide-leg gray sweatpants with a navy logo on the hip. I wore those things every day of the trip and would have probably put them under my bridemaid’s dress if my sister would have let me.

I still have those sweatpants. They only materialize about six times a year (when I’m Sick, Sad, or need Serious Solitude), but each time they evoke eye rolls and laughter from my husband who can’t believe I haven’t gotten rid of them yet. May I point out that he has some tattered 1996 Mountain Weekend t-shirts still metriculating through the laundry pile? That was over 20 years ago. These pants are not even ten.

New Years Eve is coming – and this particular holiday offers a plethora of A+ parties and and the chance to show off your favorite post-Christmas gift card-snagged purchases, but truth be told staying up until midnight is hard for me these days. Second, it’s usually pretty cold and/or raining and getting dressed up, leaving my chickens and nest and shimmying into an Uber gives me a bit of anxiety. Third, hiring a babysitter on New Years Eve takes just as much forethought and preparation as hiring a game day sitter, but there is no game (probably) and fewer sitters. I love a party as much as the next girl and always have fun once I arrive, but New Years Eve as a mom is like packing for China. It takes a lot of preparation.

That said, I absolutely love New Years Day. Like a cleansing rain, everything from the previous year that was just so hard seems to wash gently away, and the future stretches before me like an open filed of possiblities. A bang-up set of New Years Resolutions is my road map to greatness. I know, I know. By January 10th those intentions have all flown out the window for most of us,  but perphaps it’s time to rethink those your list to make them more realistic so you don’t spiral into shame from lack of actualization. Here we go:

1. ResoluShame: Eat Healthy. Get Real: Drink Black Coffee Twice a Week. I cannot even imagine my morning without coffee. Okay, I like a coffee-flavored milk beverage. I am one of those individuals who loves the liquid flavored creamers that are not actually cream. Have you noticed that the French Vanilla tastes like Lucky Charms? Magically delicious. The problem is that the container says it holds 60 servings and I have crushed the container in one week. This cannot be healthy. And while I know that I cannot quit cold turkey, I think I can maaabye shoot for having my coffee black twice a week. Okay, once a week…

2. ResoluShame: Get Organized. Get Real: Plan Ahead for the Specialty Dress Days at School. Is it just me or are these days, like, every day? Don’t get me wrong, the kids love them and it helps them truly love school. They will pop out of bed excited to dress as a Dr. Seuss character, Martha Washington, wear head-to-toe red to signify that they are drug-free (what?), wear their pajamas, or mismatched socks. I have a hard time remembering whether they need to wear their running shoes for PE. I usually find myself tearing through the dress-up box in the basement at 6:58 a.m. looking for bandanna for Dress As Your Favorite Outlaw Day. Maybe this year, I will make a spreadsheet organized by grade so we can plan these costumes in advance. I will post this spreadsheet on the PTO page where it will be downloadable 365 days a year with a buy/sell/trade costume exchange. You’re welcome.

3. ResoluShame: Get Fit. Get Real: Run or Walk Once a Week. I took a bunch of unused vacation time during the Christmas holidays. The first “real” day of the break I was able to get up and go for a long(ish) run. It was glorious. My Apple Watch excitedly cheered me on, indicating that it was the first time I’d closed both the exercise ring and the calorie burn ring in, like, six months. Exactly. That is what happens when you don’t have to be at work while it’s still dark outside and get home after it’s already dark outside. I’m not bitter. Nope. Okay a little, which brings me to the next resolution…

4. ResoluShame: Find The Positive in All Situations. Get Real: Realize This is a Season. Life is full of different seasons. This just happens to be a busy one for me, and perhaps it’s that way for you, too. It won’t always be like this, and I will probably miss most of things that I’m slogging my way through right now. One day I will have time to walk or run every single day and will be longing for the days when I was digging through a pile of princess costumes for a bandanna then rushing out the door to make it to an 8:00 am meeting where my ideas and opinions were in high demand. Not a bad season, just a busy one.

5. ResoluShame: Throw Away Any Clothing Article Not Worn in Two Years. Get Real: Invest In a New Pair of Sweatpants. It’s not so much that I hate to part with the Peaks Island Sweat Pants. It’s more that I can’t stand spending money on something that I won’t wear to work, church, or otherwise in public.  But if jeans are the new dressy pants and leggings are the new jeans, does that make sweatpants the new leggings? I think so. Especially if they are the cute joggers with the tapered ankles.

Okay I’m getting kind of excited about this. 2018 might just be my year. It might just be yours, too. What is your resolution?

Kelly Barbrey will probably struggle to keep even the above modified resolutions, but understands that’s okay. Planning them out over a coffee-ish beverage that tastes like Lucky Charms is half the fun. ☕️


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